1. Quayle forced to admit series of blunders in run for Congress
2. Video: Insane 100-mph Crash Caught On Tape
3. NuttyNewswire is on vacation
4. 104-year-old woman stuffed into son's backpack for 9 years
5. Menstruation machine teaches men about a woman's cycle
6. Woman, arrested for speeding, is found with two syringes hidden in her vagina
7. Blind man walks into tree, sues restaurant
8. May I pet the nice doggie?
9. After examining woman's back, doctor unzips and masturbates onto her back and buttocks
10. Mom throws away action figures, son burns down house
11. Man jailed after arguing with his bike
12. Woman busted for using a sex toy while driving
13. City requiring bloggers to pay $300 for a business license
14. Man Arrested, Puts Semen in Female Co-Worker's Water Bottle
15. Without enough money to pay for parking, man hijacks a fire truck, strips naked, and shouts about a bomb in his car
16. Michaelsoft Binbows
17. Californian surfer films Great White sharks circling his board
18. Man Found Guilty Of Stealing Thousands Of Dollars From His Friends And Clients Has Been Sentenced To Playing Poker
19. Well-known soccer player charged with peeing into beer cups, placing them near drinkers at bar
20. Doctor finds plant growing inside man's lung
21. Nigerian Couple Stuns Genetic Experts, Give Birth To White Baby Girl
22. Man found with his pants down and trying to have sex with a mannequin
23. TSA Agent Accused of Stealing $495 Cash from Wheelchair-Bound Woman
24. Blackberry users must cover their phones in a tiny burqa
25. Carnival game allows people to shoot Obama target
26. UK police force set to buy plastic funnels so female officers can pee standing up
27. Mauricio Lopez - Jailed After Stabbing Man To Death, Drinking Glass Filled With Victim's Blood
28. School bus crashed after driver leaned out to vomit and fell out
29. Teacher Fakes Stairwell Fall to Avoid Review
30. Man Jailed After Butchering Dog He Told Police Was Possessed By Satan
31. Man holds intruder at bay with a grilling fork and steak knife
32. Police Arrest Third Suspect, Accusing Butts Of Helping To Dispose Of Boob's Body.... Wait, What?
33. Man called 911 to tell police he needed a towel and a hug
34. Man Jumps from 40 Story Roof, Lands on Car, Survives
35. Tiny shimp in every drop of New York tap water
36. Man has $18,000 sex doll made in ex’s image
37. Man Replaces Ex-Girlfriend With Doll
38. Miners won't get paid while they're buried alive
39. Sexually active 72-year-old woman put on birth control
40. Man blows himself up trying to kill a spider
41. Woman jailed after cops find Oxycodone straws hidden inside her vagina
42. Man charged with battering 66-year-old girlfriend, forcing her to kiss photograph of dead husband
43. 21-year-old charged with pretending to be a 14-year-old so he could play peewee football
44. 15-year-old girl accidentally swallows her toothbrush
45. Cannibal restaurant calls for diners to donate body parts for menu
46. Police cannot confirm race was factor in "Beat Whitey Night"
47. Man caught masturbating in police interrogation room after being picked up on attempted rape
48. Boy Blistered after Licking Used Condom
49. Man watched his home getting robbed live via iPhone
50. Teen purposely crap into hotel's pool
51. Employer Tortured Maid By Driving Nails Into Her
52. Breaking News From ABC: "I'm Having a Great Time" On Vacation
53. Mother told to clean own hospital room after caesarean
54. High school teacher assigns students to plan a terrorist attack
55. No, You Can't Bond A Woman Out Of Jail On The Condition That She Become Your Sex Slave, FYI
56. Woman who put cat in trash can claims to 'love animals'
57. Man unaware he had been shot in head five years ago
58. I Was Banned From Safeway Because I Asked For Large Breasts
59. DNA tests show Hitler had Jewish and African roots
60. British reality TV show will feature a disfigured person and an attractive person in house full of mirrors
61. 60-mile traffic jam enters 9th day
62. Mother upset with the way the 12-year-old was driving
63. The Tablecloth Hour: One Weird Game
64. Spa town plans to shoot seagulls disturbing residents' sleep
65. Couple busted having sex in middle of road
66. Women's short shorts make multiple-vehicle crash worse
67. Brits prepare for hard times with a tent, batteries, treats ... and a meerkat
68. 14-year-old girls bare breasts to distract man at ATM, flee with $300
69. Police officer trapped in car by 50,000 bees
70. Monkey Girl and The Curse of Thick Black Body Hair
71. Photo: 'Burglar' arrested after getting bottom stuck in window
72. Mall's rule that patrons can't talk about anything but the mall itself is struck down by court
73. Athlete blames cat over drunk driving charge
74. Billionaire offers $1 million to streak in front of Barack Obama
75. Chinese Infants Grow Breasts: Bovine Growth Hormone Disaster
76. Man charged with fourth DUI -- on a lawn mower
77. Elderly widow threatened with £2,500 fine for dropping cigarette ash on pavement
78. Zebra on the loose on California roads
79. Man jailed after confessing to having sex with his pit bull
80. Motorist drove ambulance away after it blocked road
81. Police to fine men for taking off shirts
82. Man finds wife dead, has a beer, goes to bed
83. Ronald "Boobie" McIntyre Jumped From A Third Story Window, Crawled On Broken Legs, To Avoid Paying Child Support
84. Roger Holloway Unplugged - Calls 911 To Ask For Ride, Reassures Deputy "Don't Worry, I Won't Show You My Genitals"
85. Back to School - Bring Your Own Toilet Paper
86. Old man with walker robs bank
87. Taxpayer's money pays for prostitutes for the disabled
88. Pizza Delivery Man Attacked By Bow, Arrow
89. Power Cutoff Leaves Salon Customer Bald On Top
90. Hope and Change: Obama eliminates transparency czar
91. Woman accidentally included small bag of cocaine with her bank deposit
92. 100-year-old Scotch pulled from frozen crate in Antarctica
93. Cashless exec gives credit card to beggar, who returns it as promised
94. World's longest ear hair
95. Couple hid meth lab in their 2-year-old's Dora the Explorer backpack
96. Man attacked woman with bucket of feces, urine, vomit
97. Woman called 911 to report her own arrest
98. Man demands sex refund from no-show teen’s dad
99. Man seeks name change to 'Boomer the Dog'
100. Drunk man caught driving 178 mph in little red Corvette

• Magic Tricks

Aaron Bailey said he was riding the Green Line of Portland's Metropolitan Area Express train system Thursday when his son, Aiden, accidentally hit the disabled access ramp button while getting off the train at the Main Street station, The (Portland) Oregonian reported Friday.

Bailey said the button caused the door to close before he could follow his son off the train and his attempts to open it failed ... (Continue story)

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1. May I pet the nice doggie?
2. Man holds intruder at bay with a grilling fork and steak knife
3. Men butcher endangered beached whale to eat tail
4. Chinese forced to change their names - Cannot be typed
5. Gang members say police do not respect them
6. Homeless man calls 911 from hot tub, seeks cocoa
7. Drunk courier lost $1,300,000 painting
8. Man run over by car he was pushing up a hill
9. Police Arrest Third Suspect, Accusing Butts Of Helping To Dispose Of Boob's Body.... Wait, What?
10. Steven Skinner - Teacher - Jailed After Taking Crash Course In Family Photography
11. Dale Morris To Police: "I Hit Him In The Balls Because He Deserved It"
12. Chimney break-in lover suffocates
13. Man called 911 to tell police he needed a towel and a hug
14. Golfer sparks 12-acre fire with shot in the rough
15. Men Arrested Stuffing Games Down Pants
16. Police use helicopter to track man who took kindling from nature reserve
17. Obama Administration Forbids Sale of 850,000 Antique Rifles
18. Hey pretty girl, do you want to drink this
19. Man Jumps from 40 Story Roof, Lands on Car, Survives
20. Video: Insane 100-mph Crash Caught On Tape
21. Tiny shimp in every drop of New York tap water
22. Japan Ticked Over 'Goo Goo Gah Gah' Radio Transmissions
23. Man has $18,000 sex doll made in ex’s image
24. Forced Marriage? Not a Problem if You Change Your Sex
25. It's a delicacy: Rotten fish
26. Man Replaces Ex-Girlfriend With Doll
27. Miners won't get paid while they're buried alive
28. Louis Dotti - Jailed After Assaulting ATM Machine Over Lost Debit Card
29. Matthew Findley Is A Slow Learner - Charged With Stealing Taxi Just Five Hours After Release From Jail
30. Junaita Byars Brought New Meaning To The Phrase "Mean Old Bitty"
31. Teen who zapped nipples during shop class sues
32. Letter-writer who used blood as ink jailed
33. Japanese man calculates Pi to 5 trillion digits
34. Body of doctor found in chimney flue
35. Sexually active 72-year-old woman put on birth control
36. Girl throws live puppies into river
37. China Misadventure: Missing Cow Found In Manhole
38. Former Black Caucus Chairwoman Gave Your Money to Relatives
39. Man blows himself up trying to kill a spider
40. Video: Woman breastfeeds a calf
41. Death Row inmate wins ruling, then hangs himself
42. Hungry soldier shot and killed a supervisor
43. Little black dress that's also a phone
44. Woman arrested after clobbering sleeping boyfriend with vacuum and table lamp
45. Man jailed after attempting to flee grocery store with six packs of steakes stuffed down his shorts
46. Woman jailed after children found living in garbage piled up to a foot high
47. 6ft 9 teenager who cannot fit on the school bus
48. The poet and the baffling bullfight
49. Iran state media call French first lady a prostitute
50. Yard sale shopper clobbers another with a cornbread pan
51. Thief steals money from woman’s cleavage
52. Operating room fistfight between two doctors leads to problems
53. Couple's car in long term parking taken for 724-mile trip
54. Weird But Customary Chinese Phenomena
55. Eighteen die while mushroom picking
56. Drunk baboons plague exclusive suburbs
57. Woman jailed after cops find Oxycodone straws hidden inside her vagina
58. New bog snorkelling record
59. Man charged with battering 66-year-old girlfriend, forcing her to kiss photograph of dead husband
60. 21-year-old charged with pretending to be a 14-year-old so he could play peewee football
61. 15-year-old girl accidentally swallows her toothbrush
62. Chefs compete to cook testicles
63. Man nabbed with fake million dollar bills
64. U.S. Government to sell the White House
65. Adolf Hitler awarded first place in his class dress-up day
66. Climber discovered after perishing in ice 21 years ago
67. Man accused of rape fires himself as his lawyer
68. Brownie Bandit nabbed with bag of brownies
69. USB-Powered Necktie Coolers for Nerds, Courtesy of Thanko
70. We are about to crash, jet passengers told in error
71. Man surfs on the airport luggage carousel
72. Philippine Manicurist Appointed to Government Role
73. Lennon's toilet sells for £9,500
74. Ghost hunter looking for ghost train killed by real train
75. Beer Belly Pageant Canceled
76. Hong Kong Porn: Take It All Off In 3-D
77. Latest trend in pet fashion, dyeing pets
78. Body of woman found in clutter at home
79. Man suffered a bizarre Houdini-style death
80. Cannibal restaurant calls for diners to donate body parts for menu
81. Cuba Cuts Out Cheap Cigarettes for Old People
82. Venezuelan politician offers breast implants as raffle prize
83. Police cannot confirm race was factor in "Beat Whitey Night"
84. Sneezing fit caused woman to crash car, go to the hospital
85. Youth forget how to write in China and Japan
86. Liquor-Guzzling Father Tries to Auction Daughter
87. Woman accused of trying to hire one ex to kill other ex
88. Man caught masturbating in police interrogation room after being picked up on attempted rape
89. One in four lap dancers has a degree
90. Stressed police in UK do 'emotional survival' training
91. Pensioner told her electrical safety report would be written in Polish
92. Iran issues fatwa against pets
93. Woman Locked Up for Low-Riding Pants
94. Woman recovering from Blackberry thumb surgery
95. Paris Hilton awakes to home intruder with big knives
96. SeaWorld trainer's death traumatized boy, $15,000 will fix him
97. Dead man proves to VA he isn't dead
98. Settlement in suit alleging condom found in soup
99. Kayaker hit in head by 30lb carp
100. Turkish hotels order hundreds of plus-sized beds for basketball stars