1. Quayle forced to admit series of blunders in run for Congress
2. Video: How Not To Fire a Watermelon Out of a Huge Slingshot
3. Video: Insane 100-mph Crash Caught On Tape
4. NuttyNewswire is on vacation
5. 104-year-old woman stuffed into son's backpack for 9 years
6. Menstruation machine teaches men about a woman's cycle
7. Woman, arrested for speeding, is found with two syringes hidden in her vagina
8. Blind man walks into tree, sues restaurant
9. Video: Squirrel falls victim to high-tech bird feeder
10. Carrot shaped like Buzz Lightyear
11. May I pet the nice doggie?
12. After examining woman's back, doctor unzips and masturbates onto her back and buttocks
13. Mom throws away action figures, son burns down house
14. Man jailed after arguing with his bike
15. Woman busted for using a sex toy while driving
16. City requiring bloggers to pay $300 for a business license
17. Man Arrested, Puts Semen in Female Co-Worker's Water Bottle
18. Without enough money to pay for parking, man hijacks a fire truck, strips naked, and shouts about a bomb in his car
19. Michaelsoft Binbows
20. Californian surfer films Great White sharks circling his board
21. Man Found Guilty Of Stealing Thousands Of Dollars From His Friends And Clients Has Been Sentenced To Playing Poker
22. Well-known soccer player charged with peeing into beer cups, placing them near drinkers at bar
23. Doctor finds plant growing inside man's lung
24. Man Attacks Pelican For Stealing His Fish
25. Witches frighten lawmakers into voting against tax
26. Wife kills sex-demanding hubby while she’s vacuuming
27. Steven Black Discovered That It's Hard To Flee Police With $1,500 Tied To Your Balls
28. Man entered woman's home naked, only to be dragged to the door by his beard and beaten with tape measure
29. Prisoners rioted after ban on watching Wimbledon women's game
30. Woman sues cinema for too-long ads
31. Britney Spears Suit Claims Sexual Harassment, Abuse
32. Obama names Asian carp czar
33. Woman hit by falling cat sues 200 people
34. Teacher Conducts Blood Tests Using Same Needle on 18 Students
35. Man told cops he was driving 100mph to dry off his car after he washed it
36. Video: what a heavy storm does to a cruise ship
37. Police Use Stun Gun On Man Fighting A Fire At His House
38. Video: Motorbike rider's incredible escape from head-on collision with bus
39. Fat orang-utan put on diet
40. Post Office manager apologizes for ‘poopy cake’
41. Boy with long hair suspended because "students with long hair might get picked on"
42. 7-year-old girl sent home for wearing wrong shade of green
43. Surgeons Offer Bra Worn Under Skin
44. Inventor sets world record for 'fastest piece of furniture'
45. A sexy game of strip-Monopoly ends in fight, jail
46. Communist Party hands out porn pens to kids at school
47. Dog eats 12 large bras, sick for 3 months
48. Man drives wrong way on highway for 55 miles because he was sad his cat died
49. Woman stormed little girl's birthday party, urged daughter to punch another child in face
50. Man jailed after shooting hole in floor - He thought he was shooting an alien
51. Granny charged with stabbing granddaughter during dispute over jigsaw puzzle
52. Man holds intruder at bay with a grilling fork and steak knife
53. Police Arrest Third Suspect, Accusing Butts Of Helping To Dispose Of Boob's Body.... Wait, What?
54. Man called 911 to tell police he needed a towel and a hug
55. Man Jumps from 40 Story Roof, Lands on Car, Survives
56. Tiny shimp in every drop of New York tap water
57. Man has $18,000 sex doll made in ex’s image
58. Man Replaces Ex-Girlfriend With Doll
59. Miners won't get paid while they're buried alive
60. Sexually active 72-year-old woman put on birth control
61. Man blows himself up trying to kill a spider
62. Woman jailed after cops find Oxycodone straws hidden inside her vagina
63. Man charged with battering 66-year-old girlfriend, forcing her to kiss photograph of dead husband
64. 21-year-old charged with pretending to be a 14-year-old so he could play peewee football
65. 15-year-old girl accidentally swallows her toothbrush
66. Cannibal restaurant calls for diners to donate body parts for menu
67. Police cannot confirm race was factor in "Beat Whitey Night"
68. Man caught masturbating in police interrogation room after being picked up on attempted rape
69. Boy Blistered after Licking Used Condom
70. Man watched his home getting robbed live via iPhone
71. Teen purposely crap into hotel's pool
72. Employer Tortured Maid By Driving Nails Into Her
73. Breaking News From ABC: "I'm Having a Great Time" On Vacation
74. Mother told to clean own hospital room after caesarean
75. High school teacher assigns students to plan a terrorist attack
76. No, You Can't Bond A Woman Out Of Jail On The Condition That She Become Your Sex Slave, FYI
77. Woman who put cat in trash can claims to 'love animals'
78. Man unaware he had been shot in head five years ago
79. I Was Banned From Safeway Because I Asked For Large Breasts
80. DNA tests show Hitler had Jewish and African roots
81. British reality TV show will feature a disfigured person and an attractive person in house full of mirrors
82. 60-mile traffic jam enters 9th day
83. Mother upset with the way the 12-year-old was driving
84. The Tablecloth Hour: One Weird Game
85. Spa town plans to shoot seagulls disturbing residents' sleep
86. Couple busted having sex in middle of road
87. Women's short shorts make multiple-vehicle crash worse
88. Brits prepare for hard times with a tent, batteries, treats ... and a meerkat
89. 14-year-old girls bare breasts to distract man at ATM, flee with $300
90. Police officer trapped in car by 50,000 bees
91. Monkey Girl and The Curse of Thick Black Body Hair
92. Photo: 'Burglar' arrested after getting bottom stuck in window
93. Mall's rule that patrons can't talk about anything but the mall itself is struck down by court
94. Athlete blames cat over drunk driving charge
95. Billionaire offers $1 million to streak in front of Barack Obama
96. Chinese Infants Grow Breasts: Bovine Growth Hormone Disaster
97. Man charged with fourth DUI -- on a lawn mower
98. Elderly widow threatened with £2,500 fine for dropping cigarette ash on pavement
99. Zebra on the loose on California roads
100. Man jailed after confessing to having sex with his pit bull

• Magic Tricks

By Andrew Hough

Officials in Pecica, a village town about 13 miles from the Hungarian border in the country's west, ordered the bright red signs, complete with the phrase "Attention - Drunks".

The 10 road signs, which also show a person crawling on their knees while clutching a glass in one hand, were erected in popular nightspot areas close to the city's bars and restaurants ... (Continue story)

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1. Football Team Doesn't Know How To Properly Bathe
2. Bank Robber Calls Getaway Taxi From the Jiffy Lube
3. Man Attacks Pelican For Stealing His Fish
4. Plane crashes into back garden
5. Neighbor complains about church bell after 104 years
6. Babestation star in porn show benefit fraud
7. Witches frighten lawmakers into voting against tax
8. 200 commercial pilots faked experience
9. Cabbies cannot wear underwear as an outer garment
10. One Man's Long Nails Contain His Temper
11. Wife kills sex-demanding hubby while she’s vacuuming
12. Residents of Lustful Court vote for name change
13. Romanian plan to tax witches
14. School bus going too fast, man smashes windshield
15. Jail escapees caught sneaking back in
16. Jail installs condom dispensers
17. Policeman arrests suspect despite being Tasered by colleague
18. Steven Black Discovered That It's Hard To Flee Police With $1,500 Tied To Your Balls
19. Tierra Aldridge - Jailed After Attempting To Abandon 3-year-Old Son At Police Station
20. Man entered woman's home naked, only to be dragged to the door by his beard and beaten with tape measure
21. Prisoners rioted after ban on watching Wimbledon women's game
22. Champion gardener stopped by police over giant vegetables
23. Woman arrested for drinking 6 beers with 7 kids in car
24. Restaurant: Parents must remove screaming kids
25. Woman sues cinema for too-long ads
26. Animal sanctuary burned for feeding children to crocodiles
27. World's shortest teenager on tour
28. School Band Members Play Pencils
29. Police blow up kid's toy pony
30. Councilwoman targets low-hanging pants - You won't get a job
31. Man attacked woman her in her home, but she got his wallet
32. Britney Spears Suit Claims Sexual Harassment, Abuse
33. Obama names Asian carp czar
34. Video: First wheelchair double backflip
35. Video: How Not To Fire a Watermelon Out of a Huge Slingshot
36. Mystery eye problem at dairy show caused by cow urine
37. Woman hit by falling cat sues 200 people
38. Lion Chomps on Trainer's Leg at Las Vegas MGM Grand
39. Video: Squirrel falls victim to high-tech bird feeder
40. Bobcat climbing power pole starts 5-acre fire
41. Prize-Winning Parakeet Assassinated By Rival Breeder
42. Teacher Conducts Blood Tests Using Same Needle on 18 Students
43. Man Arrested For Defending Home From Gang Members
44. Chinese Jigsaw Made of Thousands of Rotting Bank Notes
45. Famous toilets tour becoming popular
46. Wife sets husband's stuff on fire over Jennifer Lopez movie
47. Ryanair told to stop insulting Spanish website
48. Markevius Buie Got An Early Start As The Jail House Hoe
49. Darrel White - Charged With Manslaughter After Allowing Flesh Eating Maggots To Eat His Wife To Death
50. Man told cops he was driving 100mph to dry off his car after he washed it
51. Manuel Hernandez Was a Jack-Ass In The Box
52. Home includes 1,000ft model railway
53. Video: what a heavy storm does to a cruise ship
54. Police Use Stun Gun On Man Fighting A Fire At His House
55. Co-pilots not necessary - Let flight attendants land the planes
56. Another Party - White House dance event
57. A hoax? Joaquin Phoenix film gets viewers guessing
58. Rodney King engaged to juror who awarded him $3.8 million
59. Giant hay bale kills former ELO cellist
60. Video: Motorbike rider's incredible escape from head-on collision with bus
61. World's shortest man named as 27ins tall Colombian
62. Boy who invented 'Wallace and Gromit' double-headed broom honoured
63. A class to die for: Zombies 101 at U. Baltimore
64. Fat orang-utan put on diet
65. Electronic sign hacked, gives rude message
66. Doctor to face court for attempting to diagnose a medical problem
67. Man shoots, kills 2 guys trying to steal his keg
68. Post Office manager apologizes for ‘poopy cake’
69. School Built on Toxic Site Named After Al Gore
70. Boy with long hair suspended because "students with long hair might get picked on"
71. Jamie Earnhart Discovered What A Dog Pile Feels Like
72. Residents complain of 'Berlin Wall' neighbour's 35ft cypress trees
73. Teenager sets new world record for wakeboarding across English Channel
74. 'Cannibal' cafe a veggie fake
75. 7-year-old girl sent home for wearing wrong shade of green
76. Woman jailed after trying to assault man with metal typewriter
77. Robbers Pick the Wrong Victim: Off-Duty Cop With Gun
78. Surgeons Offer Bra Worn Under Skin
79. Woman gobbles up 181 chicken wings in 12 minutes
80. Inventor sets world record for 'fastest piece of furniture'
81. Jesus 'seen' in telephone pole
82. Carrot shaped like Buzz Lightyear
83. Introducing R2-D2′s Cousin, the Intelligent Toilet
84. Prince Harry Accused of Animal Cruelty
85. White House correspondent tweets he is having a heart attack
86. Street people upset over McDonald's price increase
87. Facebook site set up to fight town renaming
88. Black Widow wins eating title
89. Businessman hid in shed from bailiffs for a year
90. Plans to neuter most cats as feline population explodes
91. US Cartoon of Mexican Flag Draws Ire
92. Bar's license revoked due to horses
93. Collection box at charity turns up pistols, grenade, marijuana
94. Pay to drive 90 mph on highways
95. Student Says He Was Told to Remove U.S. Flags from Truck
96. Iran Orders 99 Lashes for Photo of Woman Without Headscarf
97. Carpenter Ants and Fossilized Mind Control
98. Restaurant stops serving dancing shrimp
99. Car thief runs in terror as naked owner jumps in passenger seat
100. No charges for 'dead body' women