1. Quayle forced to admit series of blunders in run for Congress
2. Video: Insane 100-mph Crash Caught On Tape
3. NuttyNewswire is on vacation
4. 104-year-old woman stuffed into son's backpack for 9 years
5. Menstruation machine teaches men about a woman's cycle
6. Woman, arrested for speeding, is found with two syringes hidden in her vagina
7. Blind man walks into tree, sues restaurant
8. May I pet the nice doggie?
9. After examining woman's back, doctor unzips and masturbates onto her back and buttocks
10. Mom throws away action figures, son burns down house
11. Man jailed after arguing with his bike
12. Woman busted for using a sex toy while driving
13. City requiring bloggers to pay $300 for a business license
14. Man Arrested, Puts Semen in Female Co-Worker's Water Bottle
15. Without enough money to pay for parking, man hijacks a fire truck, strips naked, and shouts about a bomb in his car
16. Michaelsoft Binbows
17. Californian surfer films Great White sharks circling his board
18. Man Found Guilty Of Stealing Thousands Of Dollars From His Friends And Clients Has Been Sentenced To Playing Poker
19. Well-known soccer player charged with peeing into beer cups, placing them near drinkers at bar
20. Doctor finds plant growing inside man's lung
21. Nigerian Couple Stuns Genetic Experts, Give Birth To White Baby Girl
22. Man found with his pants down and trying to have sex with a mannequin
23. TSA Agent Accused of Stealing $495 Cash from Wheelchair-Bound Woman
24. Blackberry users must cover their phones in a tiny burqa
25. Carnival game allows people to shoot Obama target
26. A sexy game of strip-Monopoly ends in fight, jail
27. Communist Party hands out porn pens to kids at school
28. Dog eats 12 large bras, sick for 3 months
29. Man drives wrong way on highway for 55 miles because he was sad his cat died
30. Woman stormed little girl's birthday party, urged daughter to punch another child in face
31. Man jailed after shooting hole in floor - He thought he was shooting an alien
32. Granny charged with stabbing granddaughter during dispute over jigsaw puzzle
33. Man holds intruder at bay with a grilling fork and steak knife
34. Police Arrest Third Suspect, Accusing Butts Of Helping To Dispose Of Boob's Body.... Wait, What?
35. Man called 911 to tell police he needed a towel and a hug
36. Man Jumps from 40 Story Roof, Lands on Car, Survives
37. Tiny shimp in every drop of New York tap water
38. Man has $18,000 sex doll made in ex’s image
39. Man Replaces Ex-Girlfriend With Doll
40. Miners won't get paid while they're buried alive
41. Sexually active 72-year-old woman put on birth control
42. Man blows himself up trying to kill a spider
43. Woman jailed after cops find Oxycodone straws hidden inside her vagina
44. Man charged with battering 66-year-old girlfriend, forcing her to kiss photograph of dead husband
45. 21-year-old charged with pretending to be a 14-year-old so he could play peewee football
46. 15-year-old girl accidentally swallows her toothbrush
47. Cannibal restaurant calls for diners to donate body parts for menu
48. Police cannot confirm race was factor in "Beat Whitey Night"
49. Man caught masturbating in police interrogation room after being picked up on attempted rape
50. Boy Blistered after Licking Used Condom
51. Man watched his home getting robbed live via iPhone
52. Teen purposely crap into hotel's pool
53. Employer Tortured Maid By Driving Nails Into Her
54. Breaking News From ABC: "I'm Having a Great Time" On Vacation
55. Mother told to clean own hospital room after caesarean
56. High school teacher assigns students to plan a terrorist attack
57. No, You Can't Bond A Woman Out Of Jail On The Condition That She Become Your Sex Slave, FYI
58. Woman who put cat in trash can claims to 'love animals'
59. Man unaware he had been shot in head five years ago
60. I Was Banned From Safeway Because I Asked For Large Breasts
61. DNA tests show Hitler had Jewish and African roots
62. British reality TV show will feature a disfigured person and an attractive person in house full of mirrors
63. 60-mile traffic jam enters 9th day
64. Mother upset with the way the 12-year-old was driving
65. The Tablecloth Hour: One Weird Game
66. Spa town plans to shoot seagulls disturbing residents' sleep
67. Couple busted having sex in middle of road
68. Women's short shorts make multiple-vehicle crash worse
69. Brits prepare for hard times with a tent, batteries, treats ... and a meerkat
70. 14-year-old girls bare breasts to distract man at ATM, flee with $300
71. Police officer trapped in car by 50,000 bees
72. Monkey Girl and The Curse of Thick Black Body Hair
73. Photo: 'Burglar' arrested after getting bottom stuck in window
74. Mall's rule that patrons can't talk about anything but the mall itself is struck down by court
75. Athlete blames cat over drunk driving charge
76. Billionaire offers $1 million to streak in front of Barack Obama
77. Chinese Infants Grow Breasts: Bovine Growth Hormone Disaster
78. Man charged with fourth DUI -- on a lawn mower
79. Elderly widow threatened with £2,500 fine for dropping cigarette ash on pavement
80. Zebra on the loose on California roads
81. Man jailed after confessing to having sex with his pit bull
82. Motorist drove ambulance away after it blocked road
83. Police to fine men for taking off shirts
84. Man finds wife dead, has a beer, goes to bed
85. Ronald "Boobie" McIntyre Jumped From A Third Story Window, Crawled On Broken Legs, To Avoid Paying Child Support
86. Roger Holloway Unplugged - Calls 911 To Ask For Ride, Reassures Deputy "Don't Worry, I Won't Show You My Genitals"
87. Back to School - Bring Your Own Toilet Paper
88. Old man with walker robs bank
89. Taxpayer's money pays for prostitutes for the disabled
90. Pizza Delivery Man Attacked By Bow, Arrow
91. Power Cutoff Leaves Salon Customer Bald On Top
92. Hope and Change: Obama eliminates transparency czar
93. Woman accidentally included small bag of cocaine with her bank deposit
94. 100-year-old Scotch pulled from frozen crate in Antarctica
95. Cashless exec gives credit card to beggar, who returns it as promised
96. World's longest ear hair
97. Couple hid meth lab in their 2-year-old's Dora the Explorer backpack
98. Man attacked woman with bucket of feces, urine, vomit
99. Woman called 911 to report her own arrest
100. Man demands sex refund from no-show teen’s dad

• Magic Tricks

By Andrew Hough

In a real life example of the country's infamous "Boxing Kangaroo" mascot, the 25 year-old was out running when he was attacked by the rogue animal on Thursday.

The Australian Rules football player, from Canberra, the country's capital, was then knocked unconscious after it punched him in the face and remembers little about the unprovoked attack ... (Continue story)

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32. Muslim GI: Koran Says I Can't Fight for U.S.
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44. Fear over 'rocket fuel' theft
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48. Man jailed after shooting hole in floor - He thought he was shooting an alien
49. Four police and a van to fine veteran riding on the path
50. Granny charged with stabbing granddaughter during dispute over jigsaw puzzle
51. Charles Cook Needs A New Book Of Pick Up Lines
52. Princess Diana Romance Lingerie Ads on billboards
53. May I pet the nice doggie?
54. Man holds intruder at bay with a grilling fork and steak knife
55. Men butcher endangered beached whale to eat tail
56. Chinese forced to change their names - Cannot be typed
57. Gang members say police do not respect them
58. Homeless man calls 911 from hot tub, seeks cocoa
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60. Man run over by car he was pushing up a hill
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63. Dale Morris To Police: "I Hit Him In The Balls Because He Deserved It"
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66. Golfer sparks 12-acre fire with shot in the rough
67. Men Arrested Stuffing Games Down Pants
68. Police use helicopter to track man who took kindling from nature reserve
69. Obama Administration Forbids Sale of 850,000 Antique Rifles
70. Hey pretty girl, do you want to drink this
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72. Video: Insane 100-mph Crash Caught On Tape
73. Tiny shimp in every drop of New York tap water
74. Japan Ticked Over 'Goo Goo Gah Gah' Radio Transmissions
75. Man has $18,000 sex doll made in ex’s image
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77. It's a delicacy: Rotten fish
78. Man Replaces Ex-Girlfriend With Doll
79. Miners won't get paid while they're buried alive
80. Louis Dotti - Jailed After Assaulting ATM Machine Over Lost Debit Card
81. Matthew Findley Is A Slow Learner - Charged With Stealing Taxi Just Five Hours After Release From Jail
82. Junaita Byars Brought New Meaning To The Phrase "Mean Old Bitty"
83. Teen who zapped nipples during shop class sues
84. Letter-writer who used blood as ink jailed
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86. Body of doctor found in chimney flue
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88. Girl throws live puppies into river
89. China Misadventure: Missing Cow Found In Manhole
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91. Man blows himself up trying to kill a spider
92. Video: Woman breastfeeds a calf
93. Death Row inmate wins ruling, then hangs himself
94. Hungry soldier shot and killed a supervisor
95. Little black dress that's also a phone
96. Woman arrested after clobbering sleeping boyfriend with vacuum and table lamp
97. Man jailed after attempting to flee grocery store with six packs of steakes stuffed down his shorts
98. Woman jailed after children found living in garbage piled up to a foot high
99. 6ft 9 teenager who cannot fit on the school bus
100. The poet and the baffling bullfight